I hope you will go with me on this journey. On this path of walking out in faith, moving our family across the state and starting in a new town. I have a feeling God has a lot to show us in the coming months and I’m honestly very excited about it. There is more to the story than us just moving. You see last year my husband started feeling the call to quit his job. Y’all don’t know him, but the man is a worker. His picture should be in the dictionary next to provider. It’s what he does, does well and takes pride in. To say the least this call was not in line with his normal instinct, in fact it was polar opposite. We both knew the call was from God alone. For months we talked about this, prayed about it and hesitated. Everyone knows the best time to look for a new job is when you have one. But that’s not what he was being called to do. I was completely on board with this leap and encouraged him to take a running jump. But it was hard. This was a severely counterintuitive move.
After Todd softly gave notice at work, they brushed him off and promised to fix some things. Weeks and weeks later he called me to his desk and asked if I was ok with what I read on his computer screen. It was an official resignation letter. I said yes and he hit send. This time work listened and the following week Todd finished up his job. This was in early December. Friends, grace showed up.
The first thing that happened…my husband’s company paid him through the end of the year and included all his vacation pay/etc. Next, we received a check in the mail for a decent sum of money that was SO UNEXPECTED. If you would have asked us to list a hundred people who would send us money, this person would not have made the list. It was a “thank you” for something Todd had helped with. God winked and said, I’ve got you. Christmas came and went. A season I love, but that usually stresses me out, was filled with an unexplainable peace, even in the midst of our crazy decision. By the way, we didn’t tell people about this drastic change in our life. Not our kids or family. We just didn’t want anyone to worry, we felt secure in our decision and each other.
Once the new year hit, job hunting became a job and quickly lead to many interviews and possibilities. Of course I’m my husband’s biggest fan and knew he would have no problems finding a job, he just needed to find the right one. The interview process came to a head and multiple offers where in the works. Todd was offered a job locally. I didn’t feel like it was the right fit, but he was leaning towards it. I think he felt bad that some of the other options would require us to move. On Monday he had a last interview for a job in Dallas and had already been officially offered the job locally. I was home with a photographer from Flea Market Decor Magazine working on a photo shoot for the house (because, yes, that bucket list dream happened during all this process!!!) and he called on his way home saying he was going to get an offer for the Dallas job too. We had a decision to make. The offer wasn’t “official” and he was told it would be Friday before he would hear anything.
I literally had to leave the house Tuesday morning to process the fact that we were leaning on moving to the Dallas area, because it is not my favorite part of Texas and is actually the one place I said I wouldn’t go. (Haha God, funny.) When Todd asked the local job for more time to decide they said he had to let them know by noon on Tuesday. We decided to let the local job go and as Todd put it, “step completely out of the boat.” Here we were passing up a great job offer in hopes the other would come through because it made more sense for our family. You see our kids have been wanting to move and try smaller schools. Collectively the family has felt a change coming, so this other job just felt right.
No kidding, four hours later the Dallas job offer came through. Ever step we have made to trust the Lord has been a step in the right direction. As I look back over the last few months I can’t say we didn’t have moments where we freaked out. Although I have been amazed at how steady my husband has been through all this. I could see him starting to unravel and then he would quickly reign it back in. Only by the grace of God.
For me, I had a few moments of crazy tears and questioning, mainly since the decision to move has been made. It wasn’t the joblessness that got me, it was where we were being sent. In the moments when I’ve started to fall off the rails I feel God telling me to remember my fear. That sounded so strange at first, but it makes such sense. Vividly, a scene flashes back in my mind of me crouched down in our backyard when this house was new to us and under construction. It was a total war zone. I was bawling alone in the yard wondering what in the heck we got ourselves into. I thought this house would never come together, never be clean, never be without bugs and creepy crawlies, never be home. We pulled dumpsters full of trash out of the house, unburied so many crazy items from the yard, were hemorrhaging money and dealt with workers that were less than stellar. I felt consumed with worry and fear over how this house would turn out.
Fast forward five years and here we are, taking pictures for a national magazine and putting this gem of a home up for sale. You guys, our house hit the market on a Wednesday and we had 3 amazing offers by Friday. How does that even happen? When we bought this house it had sat on the market for almost a year. The owners could hardly give it away. The people who looked at it before us drove up and drove off without even going inside. And here we are with people lining up to buy. When I remember my fear I know now it was comical. God is so much bigger and better than any fear we can imagine. I realize this house and move aren’t cancer, death or severe circumstances, but I know that any fear we harbor is an opportunity.
I love to be thought of. Does that sound crazy? Anytime a beautiful envelope with my name written on it lands in my mailbox inviting me to an event I feel special. Thought of. Wanted. Loved. Fear is a personal invitation from God to spend time with him. You may need to spend a few minutes a day with him or every minute of every day walking through whatever has you in knots, but I promise if you look back on the things you have feared in the past you will see you were never alone. God walked you through those times the same as he will this time. The circumstances you face are opportunity, God’s personal invitation to draw you near, grow your faith, expand your capacity and show you who He really is in the most intimate, personal way. Because He loves you.
Fear, anxiety, worry, stress, whatever name you give your burden, it’s conquered when you remember the last time it reared it’s head and was slayed. God was faithful then and he will be again. My husband and I clung to Matthew 15:22-32 during this time, here is part of the verse:
But Jesus immediately said to them, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it is you,” Peter replied. “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Peter asked to be called, he asked to be used.
When the call came, he was fine with the first few steps, but then Peter took his eyes off Jesus and the fear came hard.
Immediately. That is how quick God reached down to save Peter when he fell. Immediately.
When Peter moved hand in hand with Jesus, what happened? Jesus got in the boat with Peter.
And others came to worship him because of what they had witnessed.
Jesus is inviting you into his presence and he wants to be invited into your fear. Once you grasp him he will get in the boat with you and hold on because it will be an incredible ride. The destination may not be where you thought, but God’s plan is always perfect. I pray our journey bears glory to God and others will come to trust him by our witness.
Sweet friend, I have to ask…What fear are you focusing on that you should be inviting God into instead? What testimony can you share to encourage others? Have you invited Jesus into your heart, what about into your circumstance? Are you being called to do something others may think is crazy? I’d love to pray for you, just let me know how!
This blessed me sooo much this morning Kim! Thank you for taking the time in the midst of your crazy life to share it with others. No, it’s not cancer or death, but if you’re anything like me, it’s the “smaller things” in life that can get to me. God is faithful in the big and the small! Praying for you and your sweet family as you begin this new adventure!
In Him,
Lisa Aultman
yes girl, it’s the little things that get me more than the big so often! It’s crazy how that works. I, thankful today spoke to you and thank you so much for letting me know. It encourages me so much
Wow! I am amazed at the workings of God! He is so good! I needed to read this blog this morning. I deal with certain fear about my family and our closeness. We can sometimes be to close were we step on the others feelings without realizing it.. I know this pales in comparison to what you and your husband have faced. Just needed to put out my fear here. Anyway thanks so much for your transparency, will be praying for you and yours as well. Loved looking at your before and after pics of your home. Wowee! is all I can say. You did a tremendous job. Looking forward to what God has in store for you on your journey. His way is always the best!
Your situation does not pale, family can be tough…such a blessing yet so sticky sometimes! Remembering the fires you’ve walked through together already will certain relieve some stress of your fear. Thank you so much for your prayers, they mean the world to me.
Don’t we have an awesome Father in heaven! Just when you think he is done, he pours out more blessing on us. I LOVE your stories Kim, you inspire and encourage through your own trials in your life, and your blessings. I agree with Lisa Aultman, the big things we seem to fully trust God with, its the small things that freak me out too! BUT when I reach the end of me, I have to give it to my Father and its those times in the midst of it all I reap the greatest joy! I wish you and your family the very best.
We do have an awesome father and friend, I wish I would get to the end of me faster because it’s so much better when I do, lol! I seriously adore the peace that comes from him alone. Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers, you’ll never know what a blessing they are to me.
This could have not came at a more perfect time. I have been struggling with fear since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017. I am healed now but the future is always uncertain. Thanks for your encouragement.
Connie – what a tough and scary path. I can’t imagine the fear that must surround a diagnosis like that. I am so thankful you are healed! The future is uncertain for us all and I pray you can see what a brave and strong woman looks back at you in the mirror today, you’ve been through a ton and should more come your way you’ve got it, but let’s just live like you are healed for good, because that is what the cross is all about!
I am speechless! (not like me). Your thoughtful words have blessed my heart. Not that I am fearful at this moment, but it is a message that will be a reminder in days when this might happen. Thank you for reminding us of our awesome God. Trusting when we cannot see the way ahead. Your messages are always so thought-provoking. I often want to print them out ready to be used in part, for short devotionals which I am often asked to do. Be blessed today and in your upcoming move. “when we reach the end of our hoarded resources, the Father’s full giving has only begun”. (just thought of this line from one of our hymns)
Betty – you are so kind! Thank you for your encouragement and you are welcome to share these posts as you feel lead, I’d be honored. That is a wonderful line and one that really hits a mark with me, You can’t out give God for sure! Thank you again and blessings!
So many times in my life have I been in that boat, wanting to believe and serve, but terrified to step out. God has loved and protected me Every. Single. Time. This is so refreshing and NEEDED. Thank you for this post. I pray God’s blessings on your move and your new home.
Your prayers are so appreciated. Getting out of the boat is hard business and I can’t say I always do, but when you do…it’s so good! Be brave, he’s got you!!!
Oh my goodness, Kim! I am so proud of you and your husband! I know the fear you speak of. My husband and I divorced after 34 years of marriage. I was a young bride and went directly from the care of my parents into our marriage. I had never been alone a day in my life. I was so fearful and grieve stricken that I could barely muster the strength to get out of bed. That’s when I put ALL my faith in God. And He has held my hand every step of the way. Slowly, over time and lots of prayer, I began to heal. God has revealed a strength in me I never knew I had. If we just trust in Him, we will learn that nothing is too big to conquer!
Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this about me. I just want you to know that God has big plans for you and your husband! I love your faith and am blessed to get to know you just a bit through your blog. I’m looking forward to you sharing your journey with us!
Many blessings,
Rhonda
Rhonda – this is all about you! I am here to encourage and not to have a one sided relationship! I love to hear your stories and lives, they encourage me so much. I am so sorry to hear of your divorce, but I have no doubt God equipped you! When we are weak he is strong. I am sure that was a drastically different path than what you were used to and change is never really easy, especially when it is unwelcome. Your strength is a testimony friend!
This was perfect timing in sharing with someone I know that is being called into deep waters. Thank you!
thank you for sharing, I just love that! blessings!
I had a scare yesterday that made me feel insecure and inadequate. I thought back to how I secretly wished for things and how amazingly God put the perfect person in my life to help me and train me. I realize he gave me my horse and provided me with the perfect trainer to come to my barn that does things the right “kind” way. Your post was also a good reminder that God will take care to provide you with all your little secret wishes that enable you to become the person you were meant to be! I’m sure your future will be amazing!
That is awesome. I agree He does know our hearts and the dreams we can’t muster out loud. I’m thankful he has filled your life with blessings and that you see them as gifts from Him! His gifts are all around us. 🙂
Hi Kim,
Thank you so much for sharing. I opened up a home decor store a little more than 6 months ago. Things have been real slow and that is where my fears seeps in. I know our Lord can do anything.
Thank you
This is so wonderful for you, God truly does know what is best for us. Thanks for sharing with us, we hear so much sadness on the news it’s good to hear some of the things God is doing. Congratulations on your new place.
I love your story and it was timely for me as well. Would you believe that we have been going through something similar? Similar in theme but very different set of circumstances. Husband retiring after 22 years in military and I’m feeling pulled to move to a state we have no family in and have never been stationed in. I’ve been having to believe enough for all of us because my move-weary kiddos (3 schools in 3 years?) were not on board. My husband is dealing with retirement and health issues. It appears that things are coalescing now, but that stepping out of an airplane with no parachute all by yourself……
“And others came to worship him because of what they had witnessed.” May it be so
Your words of encouragement hit the spot. 2 Corinthians 1:1-4
Thanks for sharing how God comforted and led you through tough circumstances. I know He will do the same for me.
blessings to you
You are such a neat lady! God has truly taken care of you! God bless you all on your journey and thank you! I needed to hear all of this today!
40 yr ago things were smooth sailing for our family. My husband was given the promotion he had been working towards, financially we were in good shape. We loved our church community and schools. My husband had been on several spiritual retreats and our marriage was (seemed) strong.my husband was a great husband,father and son. John moved to Cleveland Ohio and I stayed behind so the kids could finish the school year and sell the house.this would be our 5th move in12 yr working his way to the top.
I can’t begin to tell you how my world fell apart when I returned home (at this point we were in a rental in Cleveland) early from a family visit and John was no where to be found for 2 days. I felt betrayed by him ,God and the world.I kept it together for the kids or friends and family. I was falling apart inside, felt like I was an observer looking down at the world.
I stenciled my entire kitchen and dinning room with a Qtip to keep my sanity. I burnt my wedding pictures, quit going to church I didn’t know what was real everything I thought to be real and true wasn’t.
I must say my husband steeped up to the plate . I guess he wanted this marriage to work. He set up counseling, went to church with the kids and even did the holidays. It took several yr. Before things were back on track. I went back to nursing (a world I loved but had given up to help his career) this was a place that belonged only to me. I had a group of my own friends and found a priest that brought be back.
Would I want to go through this again NO but a lot of good things did happen
We very easily could have been a broken family. Now that I look around the table and see our children, their wives and grand kids. I know in the end it was worth the effort,and God showing us the way.
My heart breaks for Kim, only those that have been though this can truly understand the heart break, for you and your kids.
Kim I keep you in my prayers
Thank you for sharing this. It is a crushing blow and one you can’t truly know until you’ve walked it. I am so glad you marriage was saved, marriage is such a beautiful gift. But it takes two who want to make it work and unfortunately I didn’t have that. I will never understand how things flipped on a dime like that, but I do know God is still on his throne and in control…so I trust and walk on. Blessings to you and your sweet family. All my love