Well, this post isn’t coming out the way I had envisioned. It was going to be tips and tricks I learned on photo styling, but I thought I’d share my real thoughts on the subject instead. The truth behind the scenes of photo styling and magazine layouts.
As you may know I recently went to France on the trip of a lifetime. It really was an amazing experience, one I will likely never have again and one I am so thankful for. The odd thing about the trip is the one thing I was so excited to go for and learn about ended up being the one thing that turned my soul in a twisted, knotted up way. 
This excursion to France was built around a photo styling and photography workshop hosted by an amazingly talented and delightful lady named Heather Bullard. She really is a positive ray of light, uplifting and inspiring to be around and hands down, her taste is impeccable. She makes everything look elegant and easy, to say she found her gift and embraced it would be putting it mildly. I was so anxious to be under her tutelage for a brief time.
I will start by saying the trip through France did challenge me to embrace simplicity and a slower pace. The area we visited was other worldly in its ease and schedule with room to breath. It was hard for me. Relaxing in the afternoon and just strolling around the beautiful property was hard for me. Can you even believe that? I could literally feel God telling me to slow down and rest. He was telling me it’s ok not to be 90 to nothing all. the. time. I’m trying to remember that now that I am stateside.
Surrounding yourself with beauty was the second thing I absorbed. While I love to decorate and enjoy keeping our table styled this trip sealed the deal for me on this aspect. Meals are elevated, gatherings are heightened and you just feel special when the table is so thoughtfully set and your surroundings have small details in place. 
Flowers in your bedroom, a centerpiece at the table, gorgeous linens and cohesive décor. None of it was hard to do or fussy but having such a thought out setting made us all feel special and loved. I want to do that for those in my home and in my presence. Gorgeous touches add something you can’t quite put your finger on, and it’s amazing.
But now to the struggle I have. As I sat in class listening to Heather spill the beans of professional tips and tricks, rules and insight to what makes a great photograph I felt an internal struggle that has rested on me since. Don’t get me wrong, there is an art that goes into the photographs you want to pin over and over and the magazine you can’t help but buy because of the gorgeous cover photo. People with the gift of styling are incredible. But something not so true makes me ache.
I think we all know this, it wasn’t a real surprise to me and I doubt it will be to you, but there is so much manipulation that goes into print work that I felt yuck thinking about it. As we discussed photo shoots and analyzed what makes a good photo and a great one, so much of it is so calculated and contrived that it rarely exists in real life. People’s homes are “tweaked” so much they are a mere version of the original. 
Sometimes photos are made up of 90% staged materials. Post editing of photographs (which I totally do!) makes spaces look lusciously light filled, like you’d inhale special air if you could just sit there for a minute. Yes – the pictures do what they are supposed to, inspire you to create beauty in your home but I worry more about what else they do for so many of us. They make us think people really live like that and it’s unattainable. I felt a little like I saw behind the curtain in OZ.
We did learn so game changing tips that will help my photograph both for the blog and just for life in general. We even had a ton of fun doing it! One exercise we did was spend the day making jam. It was a fun project to do that showed us how to take lifestyle photography. We took tons of pictures of each other, practiced directing each other on set and trying out different settings to create a set of photos that make you want to get to making some jam. 
There is a TON that goes into making an event look natural and fun, makes the consumer feel like the photos were just snapped, like the fun was caught in the action, not staged. But it’s staged. Repeated over and over. And the flow of a jam making day that happens among friends is peppered with a million pictures and do overs and non-natural flow. It’s fun for photo loving nerds like me, but not 100% real life. 
Did you know boxes and boxes of props are brought in for large scale photo shoots? So often people don’t own all the accessories and furniture you see (think of the big reveal on Fixer Upper – they don’t keep all that!). Did you know that to get one good photo 50-100 might be taken? Then there is photo editing. Any photo you see in professional print has been edited, they never print a pic straight out of the camera. Never. 
A professional photo shoot has a photographer, photo stylist and team of people collaborating to make the images perfect. There is professional lighting on set. The photo shoots last for hours or even days to get the perfect set of photographs. The budget usually looks a little different than mine and yours. All these things aren’t always the case, but so often they are. I knew all this, but spending focused time on the subject lead me to think on it more than I ever have before.
Woman have a hard enough time measuring ourselves against the yardstick social media provides and I really contemplated in this moment if I wanted to contribute to the deflation. Not that my house is unattainable, because it certainly is not, but I want to be real. So real that maybe it hurts a little. 
Truthfully, we all need a break from our own reality, magazines and TV do that for us. We need to see beauty when we feel our walls closing in, we need to see things in order when our life doesn’t feel that way at all. We need to enjoy each others creativity and gifts, that is why God gave us talent, to share it! But we ALL need to have a healthy understanding that what we are seeing with our eyes, frozen in a photograph, is not always truth when in motion.
I adore photography and making pretty things, but I hope that I never misrepresent the brokenness that still lingers in my life, the un-perfection that makes me human and fact that I don’t even remotely have my act together. Perfection leaves no room for growth or God or connection to others. It’s intimidating and unreal. It’s an illusion and complete falsehood. And what I know about people like myself and Heather is that while we can craft a moment to look amazing and beautiful and cause someone to covet, we are both still filled with imperfection and struggles, self doubt and fear. 
The joy that comes from creating something that sits on perfect for a split second is like that moment right when you reach the top of a roller coaster, right before the ride drops, when just for a moment you are suspended in mid air, heart racing. Everything feels alive and exciting in that breath. But then the fall comes and the ride stops and the millions of minutes that surround that second are the reality. It’s great to love the second, but never loose sight of the rest of the ride.
Ultimately I’ve had to wrestle with the reality that twisted truth surrounds us daily, but I’m still called to be the good noise. I’m still called to be in this space and be as real as I can. I just thought it would be good to let you peek behind the curtain to know how much goes into the snapshots you see and tell you, you are wonderful exactly as you are. Don’t let anyone fool you.
I really meant to give you some great tips about photography but that’s not what came out when I sat down to type. Hopefully that’s ok and you still enjoyed the beauty I was able to bring home! Blessings today and always loved one.
My personal preference is real over fake every time. I will never try to duplicate what they have in magazines simply because I would be disappointed every time as it would not look the same. To me real is more entertaining. It’s those goofy and the sometime mistakes that make the picture worth while in my eyes. I prefer candid and unknowing pictures the best.
I completely agree! candid and real is the best!!!
Thank you for this post. It was exactly what I needed to hear! I am wonderful exactly as I am, but growing in God! I loved your comment “Perfection leaves no room for growth or God or connection to others. ” I am an imperfect being who desires for growth in God more than anything. Thank you again writing this.
so glad you enjoyed this. I am so imperfect and have learned the true meaning of His perfection is made perfect in my weakness!
I love your candor, your love of the Lord, and your truthful descriptions about your life and family If we can live the kind of life that honors God, and we love those he has entrusted to us to love and care for who needs to measure up to anyone’s expectations! At the end of the day, I want to be as good and faithful as I prayed to be before I left the house. My home is my sanctuary, it won’t make a magazine cover trust me, but me and the pooch love it!
Yay for the pooches in our lives! I love that – to come home at the end of the day as faithful as you left. What an amazing challenge!
Your words are heartfelt and I am grateful for the reality you have shared! I have discovered over many years that it is only in right relationship with my Creator can I have right relationship with creation, His or mine. Blessings to a new friend!
so glad to have you here and I love this – it is so true to really appreciate the beauty in the world we have to love it’s maker!
Your chosen thoughts and words were as beautiful as your photos.
thank you so much, clearly His agenda won 😉
Thank you for sharing your heart (and the beautiful photos!) with us Kim. Your message was very encouraging. It actually made me relax as I read it. It told me I’m doing okay, just as I am. Life is messy. Our families are “messy,” (not literally, but we all have things we struggle with.) I am “messy” sometimes, emotionally, physically, spiritually, but by the power and grace of God I will press on. Thank you again, Kim, for your encouraging words!
I am so glad you were able to relax with this post. You are 110% perfect! mess and all, and trust me sister…we ALL have a big bunch of mess in our lives!
Hi Kim! Thank you for this beautifully written post..perfection is truly an illusion..
yes! It’s a stinker!
Thank you for your honesty! It is so refreshing. I have stopped all my magazine subscriptions and watching HGTV because I’m just so tired of the perfect homes, cooks, etc. I am a perfectionist by nature, but am trying to change. All these perfect homes on HGTV, magazine spreads, and Pinterest can be unbearable and I just have to step away. I only follow one blog-Susan Branch because she is so realistic and down to earth and now you because you have the same interests as me, your in Texas, and your love of God. Thank you for sharing real life behind the scenes.
thank you so much for your kind words and I will have to check out her blog too! Blessings!
What a beautifully written piece! I’ll say this…..I used to be a perfectionist. That was before I had children, and especially before I had my son with serve autism. He’s seventeen now, and has taught me that God shows us the most beauty in imperfection. If things were perfect we wouldn’t need God like we do 🙂
ahh kids, they will throw some sticky jelly right on your perfectionism. I am definitely loosing up and learning as the years pass. Thank you for sharing the beautiful gift of your son! God works in such creative ways doesn’t he!?
Great photos anyway! Anyone who doesn’t realize things are tweaked is either young or just needs reality grounding! Neither is bad but both evolve. Me too! You blog is one of my favorites so keep chugging on but feed your own soul first!
you would be surprised how many don’t know the extent of it! I appreciate you so much, thank you for taking the time to chat with me, it means the world!
God bless!
😉
Great pictures, lovely place to visit. I know that a lot of things are staged, too many of you have shone us what some rooms really look like or if we put something on instagram we know how much we have to clean up for it to look nice. I just know it is a lot of work for bloggers to post thing for us and i thank you.
You are so welcome Marlene – those of us that do this blogging thing really love sharing our lives and homes and hopefully inspiring people for the good! I just always like to share my heart and reality and sometimes that’s not super pretty!
Enjoyed this post – your comments are insightful and your photos are lovely. I think most of us know intellectually that all these photos are staged (once read an article on food styling that was an eye opener, the food looked gorgeous but was basically inedible). Our hearts, however, want to believe these beautiful optics are truly real life. These pictures (which can make us feel envious at times) should instead inspire and entertain us, not make us feel inadequate for failing to measure up to some unattainable ideal of perfection. When I was a young homemaker, we were all supposed to aspire to be Martha Stewart, today it is Joanna Gaines. All we should really aspire to is creating the best life for us and our family, infusing it with beauty, love and joy.
I appreciate your honest post – I prefer the reality that things are not perfect rather than false imagery and perception. Yes things can be made to look pretty and we should appreciate when they are pretty. I love to make things look pretty for myself I appreciate when my garden flowers are in beautiful bloom- but I realize that they dont last forever!
Flowers are the best, even though they don’t last! I agree, I absolutely appreciate beauty, just like to keep reality in check 😉
My daughter loves photography and never taking a class she takes beautiful pictures. They are real. She decided to take her daughters senior pictures instead of paying outrageous amounts of money to have a professional take them. They turned out beautiful. The best part is she was able do them wherever she wanted to take them. They were taken in the McKinney downtown historic district. She also took pictures of her other 3 daughters in Dallas at random places and those pictures are better than what a professional would do. I’m a proud momma to say the least.
you should be proud! Photography is such a fun art and talent, it is one of the things I have loved learning most as I have developed this blog! I am not as good at people pictures, so I admire your daughter’s gift!
Thank you for your comments Kim. I totally agree with what you said & how you feel. Too many of the bloggers I read are so focused on decorating & redecorating & buying, buying, buying. I know that they are trying to create new content but after awhile all that I see is discontentment.(I hope you understand what I’m saying.) Is this what we as Christians want to be promoting? Such a fine line to walk.
I totally understand what you mean, it is such a hard line to walk. I do and share a ton of projects, more than I would if I didn’t blog, but I always call this blog my accountability partner. It helps me get the creativity out of my head that would otherwise sit, begging to let loose! It is such an outlet for me and I am blessed that I get to share it. But ultimately stuff and projects and décor will never fully fulfill us and I have to reign my purpose back in! It can be really tough to stay focused on our purpose! Blessings Shirley!
Thank you for your reply & your blog. I respect you for how open you are & appreciate your effort to walk close with God on your journey. God bless!
I just stumbled on this post and it really resonates with me. I used to write about fashion and did some personal and photo styling. I really became troubled with how fashion promotes a fantasy—nothing wrong with that, but I really needed a life rooted in reality. Messy, unstyled, awkward reality. As you describe here, it can be very difficult to reconcile the two.
It really is, such a struggle, but we have to keep our eyes up!!! 🙂