Life Lessons From The Biltmore Estate

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I have been so excited to share some life lessons from the Biltmore Estate. On my recent vacation to the beautiful Vanderbilt home, I noted so many small things that made such a big impact on my thought process, I am hopeful these nuances and observations will inspire you in some small way as well. 

I visited Asheville with my best friend and we were both in awe of the natural beauty of the area, but even more awestruck by the home and grounds of the Biltmore. As people hurried past us on the self-guided tour, we gladly let them zip on by. We literally soaked up all we could, paying attention to the details, talking about our favorite things, and quietly resting in our thoughts. This home is no place to speed through. The obvious beauty is in the decor and master planning of an undertaking like this, but in between the flowing damask and intricate mouldings are hundreds of life lessons and admirable aspirations if you set out to find them. You can take in the decorating tips I gathered in this blog post if you are interested in bringing a bit of the Biltmore decor ideas into your home.

Here are the biggest takeaways I had from our visit to Mr. Vanderbilt’s estate, the Biltmore:

Life Lessons and Takeways From The Biltmore 

1.  Don’t Wait – Everyone gets caught in the waiting trap sooner or later. One of the things I LOVE about the Biltmore story is the fact that Mr. Vanderbilt began building this home while he was a bachelor. He wasn’t engage, he did have kids, he just had a vision. Instead of waiting for Mrs. Right to come along and a slew of children to fill the halls, he got to work on his dream. We can always find an excuse to pursue something, even an important something. When I have enough money, when the kids are gone, when I can redecorate, when Mr. Right shows up, when I have time…fill in the blank. The truth is, if something is meant to be and we set our minds and focus to it, most excuses are just that – excuses. You should have friends over for dinner even though you hate your couch. No one cares that you have pulled the weeds in your yard yet, they just want to visit. Your hobbies and pastimes are important – let your kids see your heart and desires, NOW. Whatever you are dragging your feet on, remember Mr. Vanderbilt’s boldness. I assure you he didn’t amass a fortune and this home by putting things off! There will never be a perfect time in your life, so embrace the life you have right now, and live it to the full. That is biblical friend!
2. Be a collector – One of the characteristics that makes the Biltmore home so interesting is Mr. Vanderbilt’s love of collecting. An avid collector, he sent home finds from his worldwide travels. The places and spaces he visited inspired his home decor. He created spaces that reminded him of his favorite travels and filled the space with my favorite kind of souvenirs – local wares. Life is more fun when you take a deep interest in a subject, truly appreciate the places and cultures you visit and create a surrounding that inspires you. Being a collector can be a big part of the fun. It doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money or have a home filled with things. Just make the things you have more meaningful to YOU.
3. Appreciate Your Support – One of the most beautiful traits I repeatedly saw was the appreciate and gratitude the Vanderbilt’s had for the men and women who support them and the artists that contributed to their estate. Hand painted portraits of both the architect and the landscape architect hang in The Biltmore. I can honestly say I’ve never given this much credit to the artisans and people responsible for the beauty in my home. What a way to live – honoring others for their talents on a whole new level. This kind of regard makes me rethink the way I honor mot just the talents of others, but their presence in my life. We can easily add photos of our favorite people, family and friends to our home, giving us opportunity to brag on them when asked about who they are! Invite your accountant to dinner, send a small thank you to your hair stylist and use words of affirmation any chance you get.
4. Be a Letter Writer – As I wandered past the beautiful desk full of writing implements I was reminded of how amazing it feels to get a letter in the mail.  I mean – when was the last time you got a letter just because. It’s always bills, birthday cards or event focused correspondence. Opening the mailbox to a hand written letter would feel like a warm hug. We live in the digital, instant gratification day and age, a nod to the lost art of letter writing needs a come back! Your grandkids will treasure your hand writing some day, a love letter on paper is old school romantic and personal check-in with your girlfriends will never go unnoticed. I promise, letter writing is a gift for both the recipient and the author. Try it.
5. The Art Of Conversation – One of the self guided audios reminded me that conversation used to be an art. Without television, radio and the internet to keep people occupied around the clock, people were actually really good at talking to each other. They were well read and curious in a different way than we tend to be today, especially the younger generations. Rooms were designed to encourage gathering and conversation, events and meals were centered around catching up on life events, news and happenings.  We can encourage lively conversation by the way we set up our living spaces, by making effort to talk on subjects of interest to our guests and by teaching the next generation the gift of conversation. Push yourself past small talk and gossip, practice the art of conversation!
6. Build A Legacy – I wonder if Mr. Vanderbilt had any idea that years later people would travel by the MILLIONS to view the home and land he dreamed up in his head? Was he simply wanting a beautiful home, a family legacy or did he have the dream of inspiring others for years to come? I’m not sure of his motives, but I can tell you, his story inspires me to think to the future. The Vanderbilt family is about more than beautiful house, they have poured into their community to provide jobs and industry, while continuing to focus on preservation, restoration and environmental conservation. What do you want your legacy to be? We all have the power to change generations – in small and grand ways. I hope to leave a legacy of faith that trickles down through generations, that my story would lend a hand to the salvation of my family. You have something to offer for the future and it’s up to you to share it! It can be hard to strive for a goal you may never see the fruit of, but it is worth it for future generations.
7.  Let People Be Part of Your Story – In the basement of the Biltmore is a room with hand painted walls. The story goes that at one of the famous Biltmore masquerade parties all the guests went downstairs and painted the walls with scenes from a beloved play. I’m not saying you have to let your guests decorate your house, but it is interesting to think about how much we allow people into our world. I’ve learned over the past few years how crucial it is to invite people in. It’s essential to allow people into your mess and let them write their stories on your walls. Plus – you have to open up and share your story with them.  What is life is we keep all closed up? We were created for community.  The walk down to the basement takes you through utility areas and undecorated halls, basically the underbelly of the house. This area was a stark contrast to the meticulous upstairs party rooms. It begs the question, who do you let in your basement? Who do you allow to walk past the imperfect areas of your life? Those are the spots where the good stuff happens and the party really comes to life. Let them in.
8. Keep on Learning – As well as being an avid collector, Mr. Vanderbilt was a life long learner. He wanted to educate himself on conservation, travel, anything he could read about. Just look at the library. He was an insatiable reader! I’m here to tell you at my age learning new things feels dauting and exhausting.  BUT – every time I learn something new I feel empowered in a way I didn’t when I was younger. I appreciate it more. Be curious, try hard things, wander outside your shell. You will never regret learning new fact, a new hobby, traveling to a new place or doing something hard you thought you couldn’t do. Have you always wanted to garden? Drive race cars? Speak another language? Get a degree? Scuba Dive? Be a lifelong learner and DO IT!
9. Hard Work in The Off Season – Anything worth having is worth caring for and it isn’t always fun or pretty. While admiring the gardens we walked up on the man in charge of allllll the roses at the Biltmore. He was on his knees, pruning each shrub by hand. Nothing was in bloom, not a lick of gratification in sight. But there he was, working away, because beauty was in the making. So many seasons of life take hard work and sacrifice, they can be grueling, unsatisfying and down right hard, but they are often preparing us for something good to come. We have to keep our heads down and work diligently in off season, those are the times that make the good moments shine brighter. Not even the Biltmore, in all it’s glory, has a garden in full bloom year round. Lean into the off season friend, it’s worth the blooms at the end. It’s important to remember that Vanderbilt and Olmstead would never live long enough to see how their master plan looked fully developed. The growing took longer than their lifetime, but they still put in the money, sweat, time, creativity and dreams to build something that they only enjoyed the infancy of. Find the reward of working on something you may never see to full fruition, the process is part of the journey!
10. Everyday Big Deal Moments – Looking back at the way families used to entertain I am mesmerized by the way they made such a big deal about the everyday. Meals were an event. The gong would ring and the dressing would begin. Dinners were long events with drinks and courses and that art of conversation we just talked about. No fast food notions here. I’m not suggesting we go back to dressing to the nines for dinner, but I do believe some formalities might be welcomed back on occasion. Why must we hurry all the time? Why not get dressed up for each other every once and a while? Why not use the good china? Why not have a meal centered around each other with no devices? Why not have dinner parties that last all night? These are the moments of savoring life and our culture has let them slip. I for one am all in on bringing back elevating the ordinary! How about you? 

Well, hopefully these observations gave you some food for thought and even if you only tweak one small thing – I hope it brings your immense JOY! Don’t forget to check out the decor ideas I saw at the Biltmore as well, you can view those here! If you would like to learn more about the Biltmore, visit their website HERE.