Today I am not writing about decorating or junking or painting. Today I am hoping you will humor me as I pay a small tribute to my dear friend and companion, my dog Rusty.
sweet puppy
Todd and I got Rusty for Valentine’s Day 1998, he was six weeks old. Rusty had a rough start. He was a pound puppy, a straight up mutt. He had kennel cough, pneumonia and distemper. Dogs don’t usually live through stuff like that. The pound told us we could bring him back and trade him in. He already had our hearts though and two broke college kids spent hundreds of dollars on x-rays and vet bills to get him well. I think walking him through that bonded us all together in a way that is not normal. Once he got better Rusty was healthy his whole life. At least until the very end. I vividly remember my mom saying she bet we would lose interest in him in a month, as college kids are prone to do. But not this time. Over the years he became an integral part of our family and a piece of my heart.
Rusty was obviously part hound of some sort, resembling a whippet in shape and in mannerism. He was super fast and would run laps around the yard at warp speed. He never was a runner though, as in run away. You could take him anywhere off leash. He was well behaved, well mannered and sweet to the core. He was my shadow. I really believe there has never been, nor will be another dog the likes of him. When I look back over the years I can think of days that were sad and sorrowful for me. Days when I just wanted to crawl in a hole. Days when I felt painfully alone. He was curled up with me every time and brought comfort that no one else on this earth could have in those moments. He was my friend when no one else was. I trusted him when I trusted no one. He was unconditional love. Over the years our family grew. First one baby, then another, then another. Rusty welcomed each child with tender love and protection. Each time knowing his rung on the ladder moved down just a little. He never complained and was happy just to be in the mix. Still my shadow. Lapping up any left over love thrown his way. You could always find him following a baby, waiting for snacks to fall his way. Chasing bubbles was a favorite pass time for him and the kids. On cold nights he was my little heater. He would snug up fitting perfectly into my lap, sharing his warmth. His breath stank. I mean bad. We even made up a song about it. Russ was a priss, he didn’t like to get his feet wet. Often, you would find him perched on the top of a couch or chair, almost like a bird. We never boarded Rusty, not once. He was a world traveling dog. He has been on many a cross county trip. From snow to beach he quietly rode along on every journey. That dog has been on some vacations! Every Christmas in the later years we would say, “Surely this is the last Christmas we will have with Rusty.” But another always came. Seventeen of them.
I knew the time was coming. He hadn’t greeted us at the door in a long while. He preferred to sleep most of the day away. His sweet face, white with age, had just grown tired. Walking was becoming a chore and eating all but stopped. I felt prepared. I waited and prayed each day that we would wake up and he would not. I just wanted him to quietly go in his sleep. That was not the case. I made the call to our vet to set an appointment to put him down, to take his pain away. He loved us to much to go on his own is all I can guess. It was truly one of the most horrible hard things I have had to do. I searched for solstice in the Word. What I found was Genesis 2:28. God says “Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” God gave us dominion over the animals. That makes Rusty directly my responsibility. This choice didn’t feel right or natural, but God clearly states I am in charge in this matter.
Our whole family – camo birthday party
A month ago tomorrow I scooped up my precious companion, who could no longer walk and drove him to the vet. I cried the whole way. If I am being honest I had a pretty harsh chat with God. I told him how mad I was that I had to make this decision. Why couldn’t he have just taken him in the night. I mean, I was really mad. We still haven’t worked that one out all the way. I know this was the right thing to do, but right doesn’t equal easy. The blessing was I was with him, looking into his beautiful eyes when he took his last breath. My hope is that I gave him even a drop of comfort, as he so often has given me. Once he was gone my kind vet, Dr. Mahoney, asked if I would like a prayer. Of course I would! She prayed when I couldn’t and for that I am so grateful. I love that God spoke to me in that moment, even when I was mad at him. He understands. So our sweet Rusty is gone and it is good. The other side of this day has been better than I had expected. I am so glad he is no longer suffering or hanging on to appease his momma.
You may not be a dog person, this may sound like utter nonsense to you. But I loved this dog and have no doubt he was a gift from God to comfort me and walk with me all these years. All SEVENTEEN of them. We should all be so blessed. We have a new girl, Gigi. We have had her for two years now. I have to say she has been a great distraction, source of joy and youth in our home. She is lovely, but she is Gigi…not Rusty. They broke the mold after him. I’m ok with that.
Our Vet in case you are in need of a good one:
They saw Rusty for almost all of his 17 years!
College Hills Vet – Dr. Kim Stewart & Dr. Elizabeth Mahoney
979-693-0123
College Station, TX
watching one of his babies
So graceful under pressure
always by our side
on his perch
We were all so young!
with our other love – miss you D
I have to say that if I had read your post a year and a half ago I would probable felt that it was pretty silly.
About 13 months ago my brother (who lives nearby in our area) got a little black lab puppy who was 2 months old! His name is Sherlock and the whole time I read your post I was thinking about how I would feel if he wasn’t there.
I’m so sorry for the lose of your dear little pet. Hugs <3
I know it can sound silly if you have never experienced it!!! I am so glad you have! thank you for your kind words.
A good, honest relationship is filled with honest communication. Your relationship with Christ is real enough to bring Him into all your heart and mind concerning this loss.
This hurts and hurts in places no one else can touch. Why did God give us such precious animals only to watch them live such a short time? I don’t know. I won’t even pretend to know that answer except that they are tools in His hand to teach us true love and true loss. Our own time is short, but then eternity. Tears shed here are exchanged for joy over there.
Thank you for sharing your story. It was well written and a beautiful tribute to a friend.
Coming to you from Wednesday Prayer Girls link up.
Blessings – Chris~
thank you for your kind words and I am so thankful to see Christ in all of this!
RIP sweet Rusty
Sweet puppy! I had no idea. Love you!
This is such a lovely tribute to a life well lived and loved! May your heart be at peace for the wonderful life he lived and the loved given by your family and to all of you by Rusty~
I am so sorry…breaks my heart for you guys. Know how much you loved him
xo
I am so glad you took the time to write this, Kim. It sounds like it was cathartic and hard and joyful to remember and journal about the life you shared with Rusty for soooooo long. He really was special. I loved him too and only knew him for a snippet of time. My kids loved him as well! He was a lovely little guy and he will be missed.
Love you,
B
Sweet tears for you, Todd and my sweet niece and nephews… I can only imagine how your sweet hearts are missing Rusty. We love you and will say prayers of peace and comfort for you all. XOXO
I remember Rusty from when you lived in Conroe! He was with you a long time! RIP Rusty!
I’m sorry for your loss. How beautiful that you are able to use this to connect with God.
Blessings,
We do not physically know each other, but I was browsing thru the Wednesday postings and saw the title of “Goodbye My Dear Friend” and just had to read it. I too just suffered the loss of our beagle which we adopted 11 years ago when he needed a home. I could see that as time went on he was aging, slowing down and was in a lot of pain. He along with his two sisters “Abbie and Cookie” would sleep with me in bed at night. My husband works night shift so Baxter would lay on one side of me and Abbie on the other with Cookie keeping my feet warm. Last week I had to also make the decision to have to end Baxter’s suffering. I prayed many a night that God would make the decision for me but it was not to be. I had gone thru this just a year ago with our dachshund (Maddie)and the memory of her taking her last breath being held by myself and my daughter are still so vivid in my mind. I knew I could not go thru this again. My daughter and her husband offered to take him to the vet and I made arrangements for his final resting place on our land with all the other pets we have buried. Goodbye was hard but I think he knew it was time and I told him to meet up with Maddie and they are to bark when they see me again and we are all united. Your verse helps me to have peace that I did the right thing even though there is a huge empty spot on the bed beside me where he laid every night. I truly feel God brought me to your site today and I thank you for posting about your loss. May God Bless you and your family.
my heart is heavy for you. I too miss my little heater. I know you and your other pups are missing Baxter so much, I can’t thank you enough for sharing. It makes me feel good that Rusty can still bring comfort. Peace for you friend.
I’m stopping by from the Time Warp linky party. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. My husband and I are parents to no babies (yet) but love our three doggy babies. They always love you when no one else does. Saying a prayer for you as you remember Rusty.
thank you – He was our first baby!
I’m stopping by from the Live Laugh Linky Party and I only tell you this because, well, I think I was suppose to see your post! How else could we be from the same town and have nearly the identical story?! YES, I live in College Station too!!!
In January, we had to make the same decision about our nearly 16 year old lab. I begged and pleaded for God to take her while she slept. We just couldn’t/didn’t want to make that decision. It felt like we were letting her down in some way. But, the day did come that we had to make that decision and it was terrible. But, I felt like she held on for us and that she needed us right there loving on her while she took her last breath. We miss her terribly. The kids have started asking if we can get another dog but they are worried that our sweet Kennedy is going to be sad. I’ve assured them that we are not replacing her because that could never happen. These sweet fur babies come in and turn your worlds upside down – but it’s such a beautiful thing!
You can read about our (very similar) story here – http://www.iwillservewhileiwait.blogspot.com/2015/01/make-difference-monday-love-like-its.html
I’m sorry for your loss!
I hate to hear about your loss, but I am so glad we connected. It is nice to have local friends in the blogging world…posted to you link party and am following you now!
Found your blog through my friend Holly…..I would not have “gotten” this even 6 months ago but am now completely and utterly in love with a dog. I can’t believe I look forward to driving home every day at lunch to see A DOG and that I”m not completely disgusted that we are constantly covered in dog hair. Your story is so heartfelt and beautiful.
So glad you found the perfect pet for you…I think that is what it takes, finding the right fit for your family, to really fall in love! So glad you stopped by!
My heart just aches for you. I’m eating my lunch at my desk and pray I can compose myself before the kids come back. I had a pup like yours…a backyard litter pup- he was everything to me…I got him just 3 days after my husband killed himself in our home. I will never forget him and try as I might, I just can’t love another dog quite the same.
thank you for sharing. I am so glad to meet you friend.
Major almost made 13. Had to make the same choice. Hardest thing I’ve ever done. RIP Tooter La Rue and sweet DOG.
awww… I wondered about him. It was horrible. I am so sad for Major and you. I know how much he was loved!!!! Hope you all are good.
Tears, Kim! What a sweet, sweet tribute to your dear Rusty. I can’t imagine… Oooj is 10 and I know “that day” will one day come, and have often prayed that God would take him so that I wouldn’t have to do it. (I went with my mom 4 times over the years for 4 of our family pets to be put down… those car rides were the hardest of my life!) I love the picture of Rusty and the cat! 🙂
It is brutal! I knew you would relate! He was such a sweet family member!
We are in the midst of facing this right now with our old Molly. Everyday is a day I wonder if it will be her last. I am bookmarking this story so when the day comes, I know someone else has felt the pain my heart is preparing for. I’ve done it before with a cat and I know the pain all too well. But, this time around, Molly is MY unconditional buddy and I can’t imagine life without her. Just read Shelly’s Queen Bee story on you. Even though I’ve been following your blog and Instagram, something about hearing others talk about someone makes that person more real! You are a delight.
Thank you Michelle. I am sorry to hear about your Molly. It was a horribly sad time for us. Looking back I know we did the right thing and that makes it hard to be sad now. Not sure if that even makes sense, but I just have such a peace about it now. Prayers for your heart friend.
I feel your pain. I’ve had to put down several dogs–cats over the years and it is never easy. I had to do my old Pepper cat just last fall and tragically my 3 1/2 yr old Pomeranian was just hit by a car and killed just a wk. !/2 ago. I still have my Sweetie Pie and Blackie, my two Chihuahuas (momma and son). They are my sweethearts and my constant companions here at home. Diane S.
Our furry friends are the best, I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is so hard.