I want to tell you a story of a girl I used to know.
I loved her to pieces, she was vibrant, funny, and always the life of the party. Yet, whenever life threw her a curveball or left her feeling anxious, she instinctively reached for her phone. She had a knack for dialing just the right person for the response she wanted to hear.
Don’t call this friend if you want to hear the hard truth. Need someone to agree with you, call her. Want someone who will take your side? Call so and so. Need someone to validate your choices? Call her. Seeking someone to back you up, no matter what? Dial so and so. Her contacts list was a rolodex of affirmation tailored to her desires.
Even though she KNEW she was calling the people who would tickle her ears, she did it anyway. Over and over for years and years. Expecting those conversations to be life-giving, life-changing, and to hold all the answers. I’m sure you can guess that despite being surrounded by friends and family who loved and cared for her, things never changed. She drove some friends away who grew weary of the repetitive drama. Many amazing people stayed steadfast by her side but were slightly fatigued by the replay loop.
Then, something shifted. It was a slow awakening sparked by a moment of crisis that nearly robbed her of something precious. God always gets your attention in one way or another. Thankfully, she was taken to the edge of tragedy, peered in, and was spared. The view woke her up.
A subtle shift grew as she learned more and more about who God was. She learned how to turn to him. She grew to welcome the hard truths and correction that came with asking his opinion instead of a friend’s. She learned new paths and ways that led to less panic and stress. She heard a girl in Bible study use the phrase “go to the throne instead of the phone” and she took it to heart. And that changed everything. (BTW – you can download my free mobile phone screen savers to help you take the phrase to heart too! Tell me where to send them here:)
It’s been years since I was that girl and while she carried some remarkable traits, I don’t miss her. I doubt her friends do either.
Of course, I still call my mom and lean on my friends, but they are no longer my first line of defense. At least not like they used to be! This transformation has taken over a decade to unfold and has had its ups and downs. Overall I’ve learned to be still and seek counsel from the best source. To ask, to listen, to talk to God. He has NEVER led me astray, not once. I don’t always like what I hear, but I trust it completely.
How did change happen?
The honest answer is three things.
- Reading my Bible to learn who God is. You can not love, trust, and be in a relationship with someone you don’t know. You can’t put your life in the hands of someone a friend tells you about, you can’t live by secondhand knowledge. You have to get in there and learn who He is for yourself. No one can do it for you.
- Prayer. We are given a direct line to God through prayer, no middle man needed. On my knees is where the majority of my transformation took place. Watching your prayers come to life, and being in tune with Christ, friend, nothing is better. Prayer is not a mysterious thing you have to learn how to do, you just talk and listen. Like any normal relationship. I was blessed to join a group of women who prayed openly around me and for me and I will say, it catapulted my prayer life into overdrive in the best way.
- Community. I intentionally began to surround myself with women who were ahead of me in their faith walk. Instead of making panic-stricken what do I do calls to friends and family, I observed. I took notes. I watched how these Christ-dependent women reacted and moved through the trials and blessings in their lives. I asked questions and I soaked up their knowledge like a dry sponge. I felt accountable to them to do the same. A beautiful kind of dance forms when you surround yourself with a community of like-minded women seeking the same goals.
These practices aren’t complex; they’re accessible to everyone and yield immediate benefits. Maybe you find yourself reaching for the phone more than going to the throne, just like the old me needed. If this girl sounds a little too familiar, there is hope! These simple steps can help you break the habit!
I’ve spent the last decade growing in my walk and inviting along anyone who wants to join me. As my life has shifted and changed so has the way I learn and grow in my walk.
I’ve created community and resources I wish I’d had years ago and I’m hopeful they are helpful to you on your journey. I created a junk journaling course called Name Above All Names, it’s based on that old saying, go to the throne, not the phone. I absolutely love to mix my creativity and my faith and this course does just that. You can see what I have to offer here. I’m rooting for you friend, and trust me, no one is rooting for you more than God himself!
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