5 Books That Helped Me Through My Divorce

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I’ve wanted to share this list for a while, books that helped me through my divorce. Before you turn away because you aren’t in the midst of a divorce, please pause a second and hear me on this. These books can help you through many other trials and even if you have a thriving marriage, they can help improve it. So take a second and see if any of the titles call out to you! 

In case you are new here, I went through a divorce that was finalized in early 2021. The previous 2 years were the hardest I’ve ever walked through. Years filled with so much sadness, disappointment, mourning, and learning. It brings me such joy to type the next sentence that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to utter. I’m on the other side and I’m OK. More than OK actually. Thriving. Resting and lingering in a new normal that God has carved out for me and my family. A lightness that I never thought would be possible. So many things were broken and they will never be the same, those things pain me deeply, especially for my children, but God has held me so close and so tight that I know I’m exactly where He wants me to be. The freedom and peace that rest in that tender spot are unfathomable. A gift beyond measure and understanding. I’ve learned so much about myself, my kids, and most of all Christ. My faith has deepened and my heart has expanded – contrary to what the world would think. Valleys can make you bitter, hard, cold, and guarded but leaning into the Lord washes away the fear of tragedy striking again and begs you to live this life full out. 

I made the conscious choice to walk into this year with my arms and hands wide open to embrace and accept anything God decided to throw my way. That choice came with the flip side of being at peace with anything He didn’t send my way that I was hopeful for. It’s been a good exercise in trust and has paid out in spades. I highly recommend it. I tell you all this to say, when my world imploded I was grasping at straws to make sense of what was happening, to fix things, to right anything I’d done wrong and these books are one of the places I turned. I was too tired to pray, but I could read and digest what God had for me tucked between the lines. No one book was a magic bullet that solved all my problems but they all contributed to a healthier mindset that allowed me to build healthy boundaries, see and seek truth, take responsibility where needed, and NOT take responsibility where I shouldn’t. They helped me see God in the midst of great pain and rely on and cry out to him solely. These books were friends to me, always pointing me in the right direction. I don’t know where you are today and what trial you may be knee-deep in right now, but what I do know is you need to be surrounded by people who keep you right side up. And books can help if you’ll let them. I pray one of these books blesses you and holds your hand in the sweetest, most caring way. I’m rooting for you friend! So, here’s the list – I’ve highlighted the titles and linked them so you can do a quick order on any that interest you! 

5 Books That Helped Me Through Divorce

1. Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend – This is a must-read for just about anyone. It was great for me navigating blurry lines during divorce, but like many of the books on this list, I wish I’d have read it sooner in life.
2. It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way by Lysa Terkeurst – I am a fan of Lysa Terkeurst and the fact that she happened to be walking through a similar life story at the same time as I was not lost on me. Her outlook and wisdom felt comforting and believable. She has been there.
3. Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen – I had way too many free hours to get lost in my thoughts. This divorce was going down during Covid lockdown. Idel time a plenty. Learning to battle my thoughts was essential and if you often sit with a wandering mind that can take you down rabbit trails you have no business exploring, this is a good book for you.
4. Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkeurst – Forgiveness is a gift to yourself and the sooner you learn and recognize this truth, the faster your heart will heal from any tragedy that threatens to overtake you. Once again, Lysa speaks from the space of “been there, done that” hard truth, and I appreciate that more than words can say.
5. Love & Respect By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs – I honestly know that I threw everything in my being at saving my marriage and I believe it’s one of the reasons I have so much peace today. I have no regrets that I didn’t try hard enough and literally never use the phrase, “if only”. I gave it all I had until God released me and said, “Kim, you’ve done your part, you are free.” I read this book and many times hoped that it was a book my husband and I would read together once reunited. That was not in the plan for us. I know now that will never be, but I hold hope that it will be a study I do with another special soul that God may or may not have set aside for me in the future. It’s a great book and I can see how beneficial it can be to a marriage relationship. I hope you’ll try it out in yours! There is also a workbook available with this book and many churches do courses on it, so look into that if you are interested!

I’ve read many other books over the years that have impacted my faith journey. I’m glad I had them in my toolbox, they contributed greatly to the navigation of this sad path. You can see a list of my other favorite books here. I think many of them are applicable to marriage and divorce as well. I am praying you will be led to a tool that draws you in, fills you up, and sends you out with the armor of God to tackle whatever lies in your path today. Blessings sweet friend. XOXO